I'm at St Mary's Cathedral in Darwin
It's filled with school kids about high-school age. Nobody is paying attention
The boy behind me is constantly whipping me in the back with his school tie, but doesn't seem to care
I'm sitting midway back on the left-hand side, facing the front
I turn and look at him a few times but I'm not really annoyed, I'm more interested in teaching him how to shoot rubber-bands with his fingers properly
He and his friends are shooting rubber bands at each other oblivious to the mass
I'm not really there for the mass either, it feels as though I'm there appraising them. Grading them, judging them, or something similar
There is a screen showing ads and news over-the-top of the church sermon. Nobody cares about that either, but more people are paying attention to that, than anything else
I turn to the kid behind it me
It feels as though he apologised for whipping me in the back with his tie though I didn't hear exactly what he said. I tell him it's OK, it didn't really hurt, it was more just an annoyance
The Priests stop the mass and threatens to start again from the beginning unless the kids start paying attention
Something inside of me immediately overruled them thinking "No you f@King will not. You wouldn't dare be so selfish"
I'm not exactly sure why this was selfish, or if I really could overrule them, this was just how I felt
They took a whole group of kids and other people from the front and marched them off out the right doors towards St Mary's Primary School as if they were kicking them out
I got up and walked up behind the alter at the front to where the priest was standing, in front of everyone
I picked up a rubber-band off the floor and went back to my seat
I wanted to show the boy how to flick it properly with his fingers, but he wasn't at his seat behind me any more. I think he was off talking to his friends
I waited for a minute and it felt like they weren't going to restart like they threatened, they would just continue, but it felt like I no longer cared either way
My brother Daniel appeared, came up and sat on top of me
I asked what the hell he was doing and pushed him off my lap unhappily, so he sat next to me for a second, then stood up to leave
He was in his I.T work clothes and told me that his server had been Dos'd (term for systematic attacks on a computer server) all day. It seemed to me as if they were still attacking him
He asked me to set his user account at home to 500ms or less ping for him
I wasn't planning on leaving and expressed to him that I didn't really want to, to which he told me it was really easy and then left
They still hadn't restarted the mass, but it felt like whatever I was doing, there was no point hanging around anyway and I needed to go help Daniel, so I got up to leave
As I got up to leave I picked up a classical guitar with no strings that was leaning against one of the concrete pillars and said a short verse in something which sounded like Latin, saying it intentionally loud enough so a woman behind me (and those around her) could hear what I'm (I was) saying
It felt like whatever I was saying was important. Possibly a judgement on what I had seen. Whatever it was, it felt like it was distaste for what was going on, or what I had to do, or that I was leaving, or that I HAD TO leave. Whether I wanted to be there or not. I'm not exactly sure
It had the word "Assisi" in it twice at the end of two sentences, one after the other
I left walking out the front door and instead of concrete out the front there were beautiful gardens
Couples around high-school age were being lined up in formal dress to get their pictures taken as if at some type of high-school graduation or dance
Behind them were/was a line of guitars and guitar-like musical instruments on stands, lined up like a backdrop for the photo
I walked past them and a young woman called out to me about the classical guitar I was carrying with no strings
I told her I had planned to take it around the right-hand side of the church towards the front, inbetween the school and cathedral, because this felt like it was where the guitar belonged
I was being honest and felt a little hurt that she thought I was going to take it with me
But it also felt as though I kinda forgot I was carrying it
I remember feeling like the guitar was pointless anyway, without strings. But I still felt sad and almost sorry for it as I gave it to her, like I didn't want to give it up. As I admired it one last time
I wasn't leaving via the front road, I was walking down between the school and cathedral
As I turned left from the front entrance and walked up the right-hand side of the cathedral I noticed the entire courtyard was now one massive pond filled with water, with nothing but a thin walkway path around the outside to get around it
This struck me as strange. I'd never seen this before. Last time I was at the cathedral the courtyard was grass with only a small pond, not one massive pond filled with water
It was beautiful though
Probably the most beauty I ever remember seeing/I've ever seen at that cathedral in my entire life
No comments:
Post a Comment