In this dream/vision I visit a Church
It feels like I am there appraising them. Checking them out, as if to see that should be/need be done with them
The Pastor places me in a really high elevated position. Like I'm sitting up in the lighting of a huge theatre, looking down on the stage and the people watching
I am strapped in with a harness
There are two other old man here with me and they are laughing and talking as we watch the Pastors sermon
He is funny. Making jokes that can actually connect with normal people. Nothing like any pastor or other type of preacher I've ever seen. They are usually boring and most often just sound like someone who has no answers, but wishes or thinks they do
They very rarely have any true wisdom or make any sense, they usually either peddle pseudo-wisdom, or backwards, flawed-logic wisdom which is painfully wrong and is downright harmful and dangerous to minds of anyone who takes it in
This one is unlike any real preacher I've ever seen
Not because of any of the wisdom, which is likely still flawed, but by the way he's selling it with jokes
I actually find him interesting to watch. Amusing even
I start to fall through the woven cane flooring of the lighting trusses they've sat me on
The legs of the chair poke through and fall down
Luckily I'm strapped in to a harness and I pick myself up
The chair legs keep poking through so eventually I give up trying to sit on it and hang on to the trusses instead
While I'm hanging there the trusses open up completely and the chair falls through
I hear the old men talking about this being how the Pastors wife died. And only recently
She fell through the trusses to her death while sitting in the very same position the Pastor sat me in to watch
Then, I wonder if that's why they gave me a harness to wear, to strap me in
The service concludes and I decide to go down bottom and see my friend, who I had come with, who was also watching the Pastor from somewhere down the bottom
I consider offering the Pastor condolences about his wife, based on my own experiences with death, but I realise that nothing with/within my own experience(s) would really be comforting to him and though my intention was good, it was probably best not to say anything about it
People are lined up underneath, waiting to speak with the Pastor
I'm not waiting to speak to him, I'll just go around the back and bypass all these people
I understand through my friend, though I did not see them or talk to them directly, that allot of the people are waiting to be Baptised
I also understand that the Pastor wants to Baptise both my friend and I
I start to think of how I can explain to the Pastor that I can't be Baptised, in a way he would understand, that won't be negative or cause conflict
I think of reason after reason, all based on different levels of understanding as to what Baptism is
All the way from:
My mother's waters already broke over me when I was being born ...
To:
I'm made of water
And even:
I don't think the Roman Catholic Church would appreciate it too much, considering they did it when I was a baby
I was trying to think of how to say no without coming off sounding like a heretic, because the reality is that I can't subscribe to misunderstood or misinterpreted concepts of life and our physical world as if they are mystical, because in doing so, I would be heretical to life itself as the true religion of all men
I am me, myself, I, what I know and what is. All that is, is all I am, as it is all I can possibly know. Everything outside this can only ever be considered, not known. Whether it be beautiful and positive, or negative and born of fear. Hopeful and respectful, or controlling and terrorising, it does not matter
Disney warms the heart, but it can only ever be as real as what you feel from it. What you feel from it can never make it real, even though it may influence what comes to be real in your life, in likeness to it
There are more answers and truth in everyday life, than in that which pretends to understand what cannot be understood. So I would be disrespecting that which I'm gifted with that is true and real, by subscribing myself to something lesser
I could never do that
The only time I've ever done something close, is saying "I accept Jesus into my heart" for men who were praying on/at me in order to try help me with a unknown affliction I was experiencing
I did this for similar reason. I didn't want them to misunderstand and possibly think I was evil, or something similar, because I wouldn't/couldn't say it. But I also couldn't explain it to them in any way that would make sense to them
So I said it for their sake
They wouldn't accept me substituting "accept Jesus into my heart" for "accept Yahweh into my heart", so I said what they wanted
I knew the words only had as much power in them as the meaning behind them, which was for them, so they couldn't hurt me
It's kinda like playing dead, when a child shoots you with a make believe gun
I went to them with genuine hope they could help with something beyond normal understanding that was happening to me, but they had nothing that could help me
I learned through my experiences seeking help from various Religions and Churches, that none of them can actually help you with anything spiritual
They are either actually the perpetrators of the original problems you need help with and hence won't fix the problem unless you subscribe, or they do not have the ability to fix the problem
My guess is that they lack the understanding, which is not a crime
It's not their fault, except for when they limit the possibility of others finding the greater understating they need. In this regard I am almost certain they are guilty of crime
Regardless, I woke up feeling pensive and a little concerned about the deeper implications of the dream/vision
Thinking about how it related to me visit to C3 Church and my negative experience with its Pastor Lars, who I since refer to as "Lars the Liar"
I wonder if his wife Megan is OK
I genuinely do not wish her any harm personally ...
But I also thought that if such were to be the case, it would be divinely poetic in the sense that the Church subscribes to God, Jesus and man needing no divine partner or feminine equal
God has no wife. Jesus has no wife. So why would a pastor (any pastor) need a wife?
Or children for that matter
Perhaps this is why the Catholic Church originally stopped priests having a wife and children
They understood the gravity of what could be considered hypocrisy in preaching something, you don't also live
So what would this mean for the Monarchy, empowered by the Church
Is it "God save the Queen" because a Monarch could hold no other standing under a Patriarchal system?
She holds no importance to the system, therefore she needs to be saved?
So what about the Princesses such as Diana, Kate, Charlotte or Meghan (Rachel)? Does God save them as well?
Or Lars partner Megan? Does God save her, like the Queen? Or is it just the Queen who is saved, while all other women suffer?
The implications for women are staggering in a system where they are not considered as equally important, valuable and divine
I hope only the best for all the beautiful women and girls of this world
And I hope that in whatever does come to pass, or happen to those women subscribed to the Church, they understand the root and cause
And I hope they will be able to save themselves from it by being given the chance of disassociation